It’s finally time for that dream house & an Architect can help.

You’ve worked hard, climbing that ladder to financial success and you’ve finally arrived. You’re standing at the apex of your career. Looking dapper in pinstripes and cufflinks, you’re the envy of younger men. You’ve acheived what others can only imagine. <Hey, yo,yo man, what up> Ah, yes, you’re a man amongst men, my friend. And, you deserve the finer things. You deserve nothing less than the best: the most luxurious of textures, and textiles, and fabrics, and crystal vases, and hammered copper, and titanium flatware. You’ve earned it. The prestige that comes with the priviledge of class. It’s finally time to start that dream house. Will it be in the mountains over looking that lake? Near the ski lodge, but not too near? Or maybe the beach? Maybe near the vineyard. <hey, hey, pretty-mister, you got a dollar> You should really consider using a retracting roof, We’ve been installing quite a few this season, I mean the stars are just amazing.

Wait, did you hear something? hmm, I could have sworn I heard…no?, where was I? Oh yeah, 

There should be a pool, of course, perhaps on the roof? And perhaps a lap pool, with an infinity edge of course. There would need to be a fully stocked wine cellar, perhaps a private vineyard. We could make oak wine casts from salvaged ship lumber and re-purposed 18th century french fireplace irons. Everything should be floor to ceiling. We should blur the line between inside and out. <50 cent man?> It should be an elegant private spa-like setting away from the stresses of your “working” life. Away from the grime of that urban cloister of the common man where you park your Porshe. Where you slog through the masses 3 days a week, cashing checks, and re-inventing mortgage backed securities. It must be so draining. But, you carry on. Stiff upper lip and all that. Day after every other 3rd Tuesday of the month. <yo pants man yo> You deserve an oasis. a private, exclusive, elite, effervescent, transcendent oasis from… well, you know the rest of the common riff-raff just trying to get ahead and keep up in the rat race. <Yo, Mr.Clean-Pants, I know you got a dollar> You’re better than that now. You’re a winner and you deserve the finer things. The elegance…And transce…

Seriously, did you hear something? no, nothing? anyway…

You’ll need at least 5500 s.f. right. I mean it’s just a second home, so that should suffice. We should completely stock the house so you won’t need to pack anything. I’ll set up the appointment at the Merchandise Mart for next Tuesday. Jasmine and I will meet you there. We’ll pick out most of the items ahead of time and have them on display for you to make final decisions. <Ah, come Mr. fancy-pant man, it’s just a dollar> We’ll buy everything new: furniture, electronics, books, at least 3 wall safes, formal and casual china, a selection of wineglasses, flatware, 100% peruvian-yak-belly wool linens, big fluffy free-range towels, and new clothing for all seasons – dark colors, and 3 white accessories. Should we provide a selection of wines to sample? I would recommend 45% bordeaux 30% merlot 25% champagne, all French varieties, I’d assume. <I just need a f–ing dollar to catch the bus man, my girls waitin’, I know you got it> Will you need 3 or 4 garages? We won’t need space for the Horses right? Those are still at the western Montana estate right? <sh…it’s just a dollar…jackass> Will you be bringing the Lear?

Alright this is just odd, you’re telling me you didn’t hear that?

No, I didn’t hear anything. Are you sure you’re alright? You look a little pale.

Can I get you another glass of port?

all photos are from  roblisameehan’s photostream on Flickr (used under creative commons license)