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I am an Architect.

Well that’s what I would have you believe. But am I? really?

Ok, sure, I wear black.I have minimal hair. And I’m pretty sure I’ve has used the word “hierarchy” to describe my breakfast cereal. And, yes, I look tired. But, is this enough to claim the esteemed moniker of “Architect”? Do we really want to live in a world where ARCHITECTURE is simply defined by those that claim to define Architecture?

Well do we?

Of course not. We need to be precise… To wit, I herein propose a simple test.

An Architectural Rorschach Test:

A visual exploration of one’s true character; an exploration of the depths of one’s symmetry; a definitive realization of the desolate vastness that lies within the very essence of the Architectural psyche. The paralysis of one’s dichotomy (if you will);. Thereby revealing (through a spacial and psychological analysis) one’s innate inner angst.

So, just relax. Take a few cleansing breaths, look closely at the following images, and tell me what you see.

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BEGIN EXAM

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TEST IMAGE #1

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• Typical Architects response – “A balanced and nuanced representation of an unwavering gaze of disapproval.” Or…. “a raccoon fashioned from faceted sheets of aluminum”
• Stop exam immediately if subject displays any of these Architectural indicators – “Bjarke Ingels, Brutalism, Fritz Lang’s Metropolis, Turtleneck, Sauvignon Blanc”
• Subject’s response – “ummm, Is it a..? wait a Transformer? no, a can opener, no, an evil can opener? No, No, wait… An evil can opener wearing a mask!”
• Conclusion – Inconclusive

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TEST IMAGE #2

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• Typical Architects response – “The tapered corner of a Brise Soleil, probably not a Le Corbusier, probably somewhere in Brazil”
• Stop exam immediately if subject displays any of these Architectural indicators – “Louis Kahn, Exeter Library, Repetition, Board-formed concrete, Cheese, desolation”
• Subject’s response – “ooo! a cheese grater. An enormous cheese grater.”
• Conclusion – Not an Architect

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TEST IMAGE #3

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• Typical Architects response – “A sleeveless cable knit wool sweater with Deep V-neck with delicate scaffolding around it.””
• Stop exam immediately if subject displays any of these Architectural indicators – “Gaudi, Mont Blanc fountain pen, exoskeleton, cashmere, Juilette Binoche”
• Subject’s response – “2 Legs in the air, tied down with cable wire, with a big arrow pointing at her crotch, all run over with a truck tire”
• Conclusion – Not an Architect, possibly a pedophile – Follow up with Sergeant Williams in the morning.

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TEST IMAGE #4

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• Typical Architects response – “Looking up at the structure of a bridge, flanked by my loneliness.”
• Stop exam immediately if subject displays any of these Architectural indicators – “Peter Zumthor, Woody Allen, Lower Manhattan – or the meat packing district, Glenlivet, Tension, The fresh Prince of Bel-Air Dubai”
• Subjects response – “Looking up at the structure of a bridge, with 2 giant DNA strands on each side of me, or maybe that’s smoke”
• Conclusion – Possibly an Architect. Will need further testing to determine. Recommend medication.

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END EXAM

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I think you’ll agree that this is a more accurate method to determine one’s Architectural proclivities than simply taking one who claims to be an “ARCHITECT” at face value. After all, one can’t argue with SCIENCE.

Or, an aluminum raccoon.

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So, my fellow so-called “Architects” tell me what you see? Feel free to add your “interpretation” in the comment section below. And, please note that bonus points will be given to anyone who can guess the buildings used in the images. No cheating.

Jody { coffee with an architect }