Modernism is the artful replacement of everyday amenities with glass.

Modernism is the creation of an open plan primarily by removing all the furniture.

Modernism wants you to leave your shoes next to the front door, and your coat, and your preconceptions of spatial concepts

Modernism would like to mention that it studied under Mies Van Der Rohe.

Modernism would like to remove the barrier between the interior and the exterior. I’m sorry, you left your coat next to the front door.

Modernism would like to sit on a Barcelona chair while the contractors bring it individual marble tiles to approve.

Modernism would like to expose the structure and also the occupant.

Modernism wants to watch you in the shower.

Modernism is not appropriate for your dog, please house him in an arts and crafts bungalow down the street.

Modernism would like to replace the ground the house covers with a rooftop garden accessed by glass accordion doors and/or lots of cash.

Modernism invites you to sit and enjoy the view. Well, stand, actually, due to the lack of furniture.

Modernism would like to be photographed in the nude.

Modernism would like each project to be unique while simultaneously looking exactly like the last modernist project.

Mies, Corbu, or Kahn? Modernism requires you to choose.

Modernism wishes to remind you that any resemblance to Dwell magazine is expressly unintentional and should be disregarded.

Modernism, please do not lick the concrete.

Modernism is like a box of chocolates. Rectangular, reserved for special occasions, often deeply disappointing.

Modernism is as Modernism does.

Modernism spends its days sprawled on the hillside staring blankly at the trees.

Modernism is profoundly lonely.

You should really call Modernism to make sure it’s ok.