Congratulations Architects, you have the luxury of cynicism. So, I just finished a cute post about Architects being pantless Aliens -which was fun, mainly because I got to use the phrase “insecure and arrogant at the same time”. Aren’t I awesome for coming up with that? What an edgy, blogger I am, taking on the big issues. Yep, that’s … Read More
Architectural Encounters of the Third Kind
Mr. Jared Johnson is not fond of exaggerations. We consider him to be a level-headed man, short of temper, but, seldom prone to elaborate fabrications. So when Mr. Johnson disappeared last Thursday, we were concerned. Then his arrival in town yesterday wearing only a turtleneck and a cowboy hat, did little to alleviate our concern. His story is hard to believe. I know he has … Read More
When you’re an Architect
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love being an Architect. I’ve been an Architect almost as long as I haven’t been an Architect (don’t try to do the math, please) and at this point I really can’t imagine doing anything else. Actually, I can’t imagine “being” anything else. It’s become more than a profession. It’s become part of the definition … Read More
The Death of Modern
. Modern was probably dead to begin with. But, in his youth, he achieved fame by removing elements, simplifying, and arranging order. We were infatuated with his purity. With Modern, we stood in front of a blank canvas that seemed to clear away our past regressions, and promised a future of precision and clarity. Modern was singular and lovely, like … Read More
On a deserted island?
Lets assume you’re on a deserted island. Shipwrecked. Plane crashed next to Amelia Earhart. Somewhere in the Pacific. Small island. You can see from one side to the other. Not big. You might have a volleyball and fedex package. And coconuts, I’d assume. Maybe a stick to poke at fish. And some thatch (what the hell is thatch anyway?). You’d … Read More
Ravenous band of Architects attack Thomas Kinkade
. According to a hospital official, Thomas Kinkade’s condition is no longer considered critical. Mr. Kinkade has been released from the ICU and is expected to make a full (all be it painfully slow) recovery. An official spokesman for the Kinkade estate would not confirm the nature of the attack, however several eyewitnesses collaborate the allegations that a band of ravenous … Read More
A talk with Louis Kahn that probably did not occur
. I may or may not have spoken with Louis Kahn. Late 20th century icon of American Architecture. Master of putting a square thing inside of a round thing, and a round thing inside a square thing. Also adept at adding triangular openings in the round thing or square thing, and sometimes he put a shallow arched opening in the square … Read More
Dear Modernism
Dear Modernism, This year I would like a frameless glass sauna and a black river stone contemplation room. My friend Timmy said you don’t exist. He said you’re just an ideal state made up by the grown-ups to keep us from making a mess. He said you died in the 60s, and the grown-ups are just afraid to tell us … Read More
Euphemisms for leaks
. I’ve been drawing waterproofing details all week, and it might be affecting me. So, I’ll let you in on a secret. There are certain things that Architects may say or do that are clear warning signs of future water infiltration problems. I think the kids are calling them “leaks” these days. If you happen to be reviewing the drawings … Read More
A few things I should not have said to Frank Lloyd Wright
A few things I should not have said to Frank Lloyd Wright Is that Frank Llyod Wright over there? Ooo, Ooo, He’s unquestionable one of the greatest American Architects of the 20th century. He’s one of the early fathers of modernism. He’s an icon, really, and oh my Gawd, he’s standing right over there in the corner looking out the … Read More
A few things I should not say to Thomas Jefferson
A few things I should not say to Thomas Jefferson: I swear, you just sit there all day in that drawing room, re-writing the declaration of independence on that “duplicating machine” It’s a pencil tied to another pencil with a stick, I don’t care how many times you call it a “duplicating machine”, it’s still lame. For God’s sake, stop writing letters … Read More
More Architectural Terminology
I don’t get it. I’m pretty sure I’m using the right terms up here. We went over this before right? – (umm, HERE) . But, you guys are giving me that deer in a headlight look. Like the look my cat gives me when I talk about the importance of water conservation. I mean, where do you think the water in bowl … Read More