Very Model of a Modern Architectural

. Ok people…Take your places. This is the final dress rehearsal before tonight’s performance. Devon, Trevor, Justin – places please. Javier, the turtleneck, please put it on, no one needs to see your pecks. Justine, stop fidgeting. C.K. Howell? are you ready? Ok, from the top. Lights! Music swells…. THE ARCHITECT (bi-speckled and aloof): I am the very model of … Read More

Architectural Encounters of the Third Kind

Mr. Jared Johnson is not fond of exaggerations. We consider him to be a level-headed man, short of temper, but, seldom prone to elaborate fabrications. So when Mr. Johnson disappeared last Thursday, we were concerned. Then his arrival in town yesterday wearing only a turtleneck and a cowboy hat, did little to alleviate our concern. His story is hard to believe. I know he has … Read More

When you’re an Architect

Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love being an Architect. I’ve been an Architect almost as long as I haven’t been an Architect (don’t try to do the math, please) and at this point I really can’t imagine doing anything else. Actually, I can’t imagine “being” anything else. It’s become more than a profession. It’s become part of the definition … Read More

The Death of Modern

. Modern was probably dead to begin with. But, in his youth, he achieved fame by removing elements, simplifying, and arranging order. We were infatuated with his purity. With Modern, we stood in front of a blank canvas that seemed to clear away our past regressions, and promised a future of precision and clarity. Modern was singular and lovely, like … Read More

A talk with Louis Kahn that probably did not occur

. I may or may not have spoken with Louis Kahn. Late 20th century icon of American Architecture. Master of putting a square thing inside of a round thing, and a round thing inside a square thing. Also adept at adding triangular openings in the round thing or square thing, and sometimes he put a shallow arched opening in the square … Read More

Dear Modernism

Dear Modernism, This year I would like a frameless glass sauna and a black river stone contemplation room. My friend Timmy said you don’t exist. He said you’re just an ideal state made up by the grown-ups to keep us from making a mess. He said you died in the 60s, and the grown-ups are just afraid to tell us … Read More

Euphemisms for leaks

. I’ve been drawing waterproofing details all week, and it might be affecting me. So, I’ll let you in on a secret. There are certain things that Architects may say or do that are clear warning signs of future water infiltration problems. I think the kids are calling them “leaks” these days. If you happen to be reviewing the drawings … Read More

A few things I should not have said to Frank Lloyd Wright

A few things I should not have said to Frank Lloyd Wright Is that Frank Llyod Wright over there? Ooo, Ooo, He’s unquestionable one of the greatest American Architects of the 20th century. He’s one of the early fathers of modernism. He’s an icon, really, and oh my Gawd, he’s standing right over there in the corner looking out the … Read More

A few things I should not say to Thomas Jefferson

A few things I should not say to Thomas Jefferson: I swear, you just sit there all day in that drawing room, re-writing the declaration of independence on that “duplicating machine” It’s a pencil tied to another pencil with a stick, I don’t care how many times you call it a “duplicating machine”, it’s still lame. For God’s sake, stop writing letters … Read More

More Architectural Terminology

I don’t get it. I’m pretty sure I’m using the right terms up here. We went over this before right? – (umm, HERE) . But, you guys are giving me that deer in a headlight look. Like the look my cat gives me when I talk about the importance of water conservation. I mean, where do you think the water in bowl … Read More

Serve no Architecture before its time

It’s finally time for that dream house & an Architect can help. You’ve worked hard, climbing that ladder to financial success and you’ve finally arrived. You’re standing at the apex of your career. Looking dapper in pinstripes and cufflinks, you’re the envy of younger men. You’ve acheived what others can only imagine. <Hey, yo,yo man, what up> Ah, yes, you’re … Read More

Band Names for Architects

. Screw Architecture, where’s my telecaster? I think the Talking Heads had the right idea when they dropped out of Architecture school, bought some thrift-store casio keyboards, and started stalking Brian Eno. Seriously, who’s going to get more attention from the opposite sex? A sleep deprived, angsty idealist loner-type, or a sleep deprived angsty idealist loner-type with a guitar? …. Exactly. “Talking Heads” … Read More